The Loosest Slots in Town

I've been having quite a bit of luck casino hopping today. Cashed out 3 figures at 4 different places, and got over 100 at a fourth but got greedy.

And also at one place I played down my money and left as quickly as possible, because there was a weirdo who wouldn't stop chattering. And it was weirdo talk, like running at the mouth stuff: I'm going to Popeye's, oops I almost fell down, I'm betting 8 credits, am I standing too close, etc. I was honestly afraid he was going to snap or react badly, so I speed played, and then left.

Up more than 200 for the day. (The last win of $240 was basically a break-even for how much I put into the machines there, but I had fun.)

ETA: Scrolling up, I wonder what my "biggest loss ever" was. I can't remember. I do know that in July and August I had 2 or 3 great wins, which I then spun away the next day or two. I suppose it was how I won the monthly drawing at "Probably not called Connexions 2" for $500, and then spun it all away over the next week. I did pay for this young couple's groceries that night though, when their bank card didn't work. That made the gambling problem feel like it had a higher purpose, at least until I lost everything else. That's certainly not a red flag or anything.

So from Late July to Late September, I was well and truly depressed. It coincided with my carpal tunnel surgery, which I was nervous enough about as is, but then there was also a lot of paperwork and billing and what-have-you which just made me miserable. As I mentioned upthread, I had a couple of sizeable wins, but then I'd just plain-old gamble them away, without even trying to get them to the bank.

Which brings us to the current streak. I've been having a bunch of little to medium wins, and I've been able to keep a little money back. I drove to the bank today to make a deposit, but first I stopped in at Golf Addiction to try my luck. And again I had to deal with a mumbly little guy, ugh. But at least he was just talking to himself, even if he did decide he needed to sit at the machine right next to me in an otherwise vacant casino. Whatever.

The first game I played was Swinging Bells, a game I don't usually play. In fact, it's the only game on that particular machine I haven't hit the bonus round on. On this particular machine, the progressive bonus was up over 90 dollars, so I put a couple of bills in to try to win that. To win you need a full screen of fruits. Needless to say, I didn't hit it. I didn't get the regular bonus either, for which you need 5 bells in a cross-shape. I got bored with that, so I ran through my usual games, 20 here, 20 there. I spent 40 to get to the Jungle Gorilla bonus, for which I won a whopping 25 cents. Yippee.

So then I switched over to the Smiling Gypsy game. To hit this bonus you need to get three or more symbols, left to right. And what do you know, I hit 3 symbols, right away. I pick 5 games at a 5x multiplier, and I win a little something. Well, that's nice. And then just a few spins later, I hit 5 symbols in a row! Now, I've done this once before, and the previous time, I picked 20 spins at 5x, and won exactly nothing. but this time, I was hitting and hitting. And finally I got some kind of line hit that went over 300 bucks. Total cash out: 498 dollars. The mumbly little guy gave me a fist bump. I put in 2 more dollars, and then cashed out a 500 dollar tito. Tipped 40 bucks, then off to the bank, where instead of depositing $100, I deposited $500. That's a good feeling.

But then I still had money left, so I swung by Happy Jacks next to Pomegranate Market. There are people at both the machines I want to play, so I spin away 20 bucks on one of the older machines, and then switch over to the machine with African Sun on it, except I decide to play 10 Times Poker. It's a game where sometimes the the cards light up gold, and if you get a win then, you go to a bonus game where each spin plays 10 hands. Well, I get a win with 4 gold cards, so that gives me 10 bonus spins. And 2 spins into that, I get 4 of a kind, which is 50 bucks. and then I keep winning and retriggering, and I end up cashing out 280. I tip the gal 20.

By this time, the machine I want to play opens up, so I sit down there. Again 20 here, 20 there, not much winning. So I decide to play Disco Dolphin, a game I never play because the bonus is too hard to hit. It's another game where I've never hit the bonus. Until today that is. I line up the 3 bonus symbols, and here we go. The bonus round uses a special set of symbols, and has special disco balls with multipliers and extra games. And I'm not hitting much, but the free spins keep tripping, and the multiplier gets up to 17x. And then I hit something, I don't even know what, but it lined up the wilds and the multiplier, and the number kept spinning and spinning, and it ended up being over 600 dollars! Final cash out, $710. I tipped the gal another 40, and got while the getting was good.

So I swing over to KFC for some lunch (3 wings, original recipe) and head home. I swing by the other branch of my bank and deposit another 700, but then just for fun, I took the long way home past the new Crown Casino over by where I go to the doctor. I sit down at one of the machines in the back and start playing a little this and that. None of the pokers were paying, and the Street Magic keno was a bust, so with my last $20 I click over to the Opal Mountain game. And what have we here? I get the bonus. Now, this bonus has expanding wilds and multiplier wilds and you only need 1 or 2 hits for a big win. And I do indeed get 1 or 2 big hits, one with a 4x multiplier and one with a 5x multiplier. Total cash out, 360 dollars. I tipper the gal 40, and finally headed home to eat my chicken.

I left the house with just under 300 dollars, and ended up winning more than 1800, for what I believe is my most profitable day ever. Deposited 1500 bucks, and I've got 1 twenty left in my pocket. Not bad at all.

This morning I had to put my cat to sleep. She was nearly 20 years old, and had been doing fine until about a month ago, when she started going downhill. This weekend it got really bad, so I took her to the vet this morning. Afterward, I brought the box to my dad's house, and on Wednesday, he'll bury it at my cousin's farm with all the other deceased pets.

On the way home, because I'm a degenerate, I got 60 dollars out of the bank, and stopped at the Happy Jacks next to Pomegranate Market. I wasted 20 on this and that, then sat down at the Players Edge machine. This is the same machine that has the Disco Dolphin game with the big win mentioned above. After a couple of false starts I settled on Temple of Fire Cash Explosion, one of the new games on this machine. It's a "link" style game, where if you get 6 fireballs, you go into a bonus round. The balls have money values, or else Mini, Minor, and Major jackpots. I was betting a dollar a spin, when I hit 6 balls, including the Major jackpot ball, worth over $700! My bonus spins netted only one extra ball (boo), but I cashed out over $800. I tipped the gal 50 bucks and headed home.

I've spoken here many times about gambling and superstition. What I'm afraid this means is, from here out, before every video lottery session, I have to kill a cat first. I guess we all kind of expected it would lead to this.

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This is a gameplay video of a different version of the game I was playing. Look at the jungle gal on the expanded wild space at the very beginning. Not gonna lie, it gets my motor reved up just a little. Well played, video lottery addition-psychology consultants. Well played.
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I also discovered this morning that Golf Addiction is holding a slot tournament on Friday. $20 dollar entry fee and $20 for the machine. You play for 10 minutes, and whoever ends up with the best score after 4 hours of contestants wins the entry fee pot. I'm intrigued, but I think the wife has that day off, so sneaking out might be a problem.

It's mostly luck, and there's not really any way to know that a game is going to hit. That said, I play the same games over and over, because those are the ones I hit bonuses on regularly, because I play them over and over.

There is what is called "advantage play" which is when a game has a bonus or jackpot that triggers after a certain point. For instance there are two or three games that will lock a wild column after 2, 3, or 4 medallion hits. Those are the games I start with, I check to see if there are any columns that only need one more hit to trigger the wild. Or Ocean Magic, which can release a wild bubble. I check to see if any bubbles have been left near the bottom of the board. It's mostly just another superstition, but that's part of how I play.

Thursday was the start of my days off, and I did the thing where I take money out of the bank and go to the casino with it. On Thursday, I went to the Little Vegas and played some this or that, ending up on the Amazon Jewels game. I remember once I was sitting next to a guy playing this machine, and he got a bonus, and he was just hitting and hitting, and I was doing 90 cent spins on More Chilli or something, and he couldn't stop winning and I couldn't win at all and it reminded me of how sad this whole gambling thing is sometimes. Well anyway, yesterday I triggered the bonus and I couldn't stop winning! On the bonus I hit 5 panthers in a row with the 4x wild for $200, and then on the last spin, the board lit up and gave me 4 extra spins on top of it, which I'd never seen before. Cashed out just under $500, tipped the gal $40 and put the rest in the bank.

Then later I took some money out and lost. And then on Friday I took some money out and lost. And then later I took some more money out and headed to the Black Diamond. I'm hitting small little wins, so my play goes on (this is what we call "the machine is playing with you"). Finally I end up back at Cash Eruption (see above). The Grand bonus pot is in the high 800s, but the Major bonus pot is in the mid-800s, and I say to myself "That's ready to hit." So I get in there, and yep, I trigger the bonus with 7 fireballs, including the green Major ball! This time I actually get a few extra fireballs, and I cash out a $945 ticket, the most money I've ever won without maxing out on a $1000 bonus. I tip the gal 45, and drop the $900 right back to the bank. Fortunately they don't have branches open on the weekends, so I'm forced to be good for a few days.

There are games at real casinos with rolling jackpots that say "Must pay out by $500/$1000, etc." but I don't think that's how video lottery works. But gambling addiction isn't about thinking, now is it? It's about the subconscious. In much the same way I remember the nearly $1500 I deposited, and not the ~$500 I withdrew. It's a grand life.

ETA: This feels appropriate:

There's an attendant at every "casino" who brings you a drink, and cashes out your ticket if you win. I tip because I like to share my good luck, and it makes me feel like a big man.

At Black Diamond they have root beer on tap, Happy Jacks by Pomegranate Market has Mr. Pibb, and most other places have Coke or Pepsi or Mt. Dew. The gals at Black Diamond actually remember my order. Just about all of them have some kind of free tap beer too, if that's your thing.

Anyway. I'm happy to spread it around. It's part of the fun.

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