The Travel Advice and Issues Thread

How offended should I be that I've been back for a week and mj hasn’t asked for a recap post yet? Fuck you, you’re getting one anyway. With way too many words, a bunch of menu links for Kite, and maybe a pic or 3. Deal with it.  Feel free to TL;DR it, but please check out the spoiler at the end.  It's the most fun part of this post IYO.


This was our annual-ish (I believe twas the 4th time in 5 years) trip to Lake Winnipesaukee in a little place called The Granite State, which I suspect most of you have never heard of. We stayed here, on my lower middle class dad’s dime of course.  Excellent location, good house. Could use a bit of TLC for the price they charge (Yes, I’m aware that they didn’t charge it to me, I’m just saying). Just kind outdated. For example, it quite literally has the opposite of a smart TV.



The older décor has a certain charm to it though. One of the little quirks that I find amusing for some reason is this book that’s been displayed on the back of the toilet for at least 5 years. I always thought the author missed an opportunity by not calling it either Dootie Booths or Potty Booths by Dottie Booth.



As astute readers of the shoutbox will remember, the trip got off to a less than stellar start when my car shit the bed (not a bunk bed, mj; this is a metaphor) a little beyond the halfway point. The lovely folks at Midas were able to get us back on the road in about 3 hours for the low cost of $1150. On the bright side, it wasn’t my sister’s car; my dad had already spent enough on this vacation and didn't need that added expense. Alas, we arrived safely on Friday evening, staying through the following week till Saturday. My sister and her crew were already there when we got there and leaving on Monday night, giving us 3 full days with 11 people in the house.


As discussed previously, my BIL is recently sober (assuming he's still behaving, he has just passed the one-month mark as of this writing) so I was less than enthused about the few days that we’d all be there together, trying to figure out if we’re allowed to drink or not. I came prepared with gummies (did you know that Kite and Balls and I like to do drugs and talk about drugs?  Drugs.) and partook in 1-2 per day. Wolfette, Dad, and I had a couple beers a day without making a scene, and then I drank pretty heavily the last 3 nights after they left, but all in all this was the least I’ve ever drank on vacation. BIL was surprisingly fine. I forgot he’s actually a decent hang when he isn’t sneaking away from everyone to pretend he’s not drinking. My sister, on the other hand, fucking sucks to be around lately. She’s so dramatic about everything, constantly stressed to the gills, and essentially talks her children into throwing tantrums on a regular basis so she can have an excuse to be mad and make everyone feel bad for how hard her life is. But god forbid she actually let one of us take the kid away from her for a little while.  "No, I got it!"  Whatever, be miserable then.  I try to cut her some slack because her husband has been useless the last year so she does everything, but Jesus Christ is she exhausting. What I’m saying is that 3 days was plenty.


Twas an enjoyable trip all around. Swimming, fishing, boating, campfires, card games. You know, vacation-y stuff. This was probably the most successful fisting we’ve had in the years we’ve been going there. The kids caught literally dozens of sunfish and small perch/bass each. I’m not sure they had a single fish over 8” among them, but they had a blast. BIL had watched some videos about deep-water trout fishing in Winnipesaukee, so we tried that for the first time. My dad hooked what appeared to be a big one in about 100’ of water, but lost it as it reached the surface. Sad! He did end up catching a small one, which was fun just because it was the first trout we’ve caught in that lake.



We also caught several smallmouth bass that were bigger than anything we’d caught up there before. Here’s me looking all hot and shirtless with one of them. Try not to be jealous and/or horny.



The other main storyline of the week was that we had a poor experience with what many people are calling a cursed rental boat. We took a boat ride to mj-famous Wolfeboro one day, which is about 15 miles from the house. While we were there, the wind had picked up quite a bit. Things were a bit choppy coming out of Wolfeboro harbor, but seemed manageable. As soon as we hit the broads (that’s what the middle of the lake is called; I was not beating any women into a coma), it was like we were on the open ocean. 4-5 foot waves, just crashing right over the front of the boat repeatedly. With every wave, the whole bottom of the boat filled with close to a foot of water that would drain out the back while we waited for the next one. Really enjoyable experience for everyone involved. Also did about $2K worth of damage to the boat. Took us a solid hour and a half to get to the house, and we couldn’t have been wetter if we had swum there. Couple days later we were anchored up doing some fishing in the spot where I caught the aforementioned shirtless bass, and we decided to jump in and swim for a bit. The water was like 20’ deep, and the boat ladder just snapped right off when my dad stepped on it. He’s apparently a little too old and fat to hoist himself back up without a ladder, so it was quite an adventure for me to try to hang off the edge of the boat and give him enough support to get the leverage he needed, without also drowning myself. Somehow we were both bleeding when we got back in the boat too, so that was fun. We have fun.


On one of the cloudy days we went for a short hike here.  Not the whole trail, maybe like 1.5 miles total.  I enjoyed it, but it reminded me that my wife is the most of shape thin person I’ve ever met. We were less than ¼ mile into a not at all strenuous hike, and she was literally gasping for breath and asking to take a break. Very odd behavior, seems really healthy. She ended up surviving, and we had fun. Mj probably isn’t impressed by the view from the top, but for those of who don’t live in mountains that are as cold as Coors Light I thought it was pretty good.



Another fun highlight that I think I mentioned in the shoutbox is that I had an RFK Jr. encounter. And by encounter I mean I walked past him on the street with nothing resembling an interaction. We were walking to a restaurant in North Conway after a riveting day of outlet shopping in the rain, and he was hanging around on a little grassy area (some might call it a treelawn) with a small crowd around him. Had his sleeves rolled up to show off the guns, shaking hands and kissing babies and signing tits and such. You know, campaigning. My phone was dead at the time from trying to place bets from a remote area, so I didn’t get a pic.  This appears to be from the same day.


There’s no way anyone is still reading this, but in case mj made it this far, these are the meals of restaurant that I can recall:

• Town Docks: We go here at least once every trip. It’s a casual touristy spot where most of the seating is on a dock. Everything on the menu is good, if unspectacular. I got the ahi tuna salad plate this time. I also ate one of my sister’s fish tacos (I ate your sister’s fish taco. /PJ). And P1’s cole slaw. And a few bites of his pulled pork. Also enjoyed 2 beers. Moose Juice IPA IIRC. BIL stayed at the house with the napping 2 year old, so my sister had her only drink of the trip during this meal, as well. Some bright pink Barbie-themed thing served in a bucket. Interesting detail, Wolf; thanks for adding it.
• Lobster in the Rough: I had never been here before, we usually eat at the place across the street. It was fine. We were the only people there for a late lunch. I had…. Something. Very memorable experience. I paired it with a margarita and then a beer that I can’t recall. Oh yeah, I got the grilled salmon wrap.
• Lee Wah Chen: We ordered this only because both of the pizza places in town are closed on Thursdays. Tremendous business model. It was honestly excellent. Beef and broccoli, egg foo young, pork lo mein, pork fried rice, pupu platter. Loved it all. Strong rec to all of you who will never be in the area.
• Elvio's Pizzeria: It’s not Thursday anymore, so let’s try this again. It’s NY style pizza that bills itself (not literally, kar; I’m almost positive a human being and not a pizza is responsible for this tagline) as “best pizza north of the Bronx”. That’s not remotely close to a true claim, but it’s the best pizza I’ve had north of Boston. We got 5 pizzas I think, maybe 4, with various toppings. Flush would approve of at least one.
• Village Kitchen: This is another staple; we always do breakfast here once or twice. They’re open for lunch too, possibly even dinner, but I’ve only been for breakfast. I got avocado toast like a lib. Grilled sourdough, smashed avocado, grilled tomatoes, topped with 2 sunny side up eggs. Side of homed fries. Positively delightful. YMMV but I fucking love a good breakfast place, and frankly this meal was more enjoyable than any steakhouse I’ve ever been to.
• Gusto’s It*lian Café: Speaking of good breakfast joints… This one was new to me. It’s counter service, breakfast sandwiches and pastries and shit. But goddamn do they know what they’re doing. I en-joyed the Inferno sandwich, which is made with Italian sausage rather than breakfast sausage. I enjoyed the change of pace muchly. Also there was a 20-something at the table next to us that was one of the hottest girls I've seen in recent memory.  Ended up stopping here again on the way home our last day to get sandwiches for the road. This time I tried the Calebrese. It was also excellent, but I liked the other one better.
• Horsefeathers: This is the place RFK was hanging out near. It’s a sports bar, basically. Wolfette and I split the pulled pork burrito (yes, Jim, I’m aware that she normally has no issue swallowing something the size of a burrito by herself), and I had a cup of the crab and asparagus bisque. As one typically pairs with a burrito. Both were very good. Couple beers with this meal, IPAs of some sort.

Anything else, Robin? Oh, there is one more thing! While we were waiting for our table at that last restaurant, I was bored in a souvenir shop so I picked out a few things for you guys: