She called you on the phone? Are you fucking her or something? Who calls people?
She's an old lady; they do weird shit. She came and knocked on my door for help with her generator after a storm last year, and I gave her my number in case she ever needs anything. She calls me from her home phone instead of texting. Also I've lived next door to her for 3.5 years and don't know her name.
UEM suggested this idea in the box. I'll give it a whirl.
A 7-course meal, as prepared by your fake sons of the internet sports guy:
I have no choice but to make guac as an hord d'ouevres for you all to enjoy prior to sitting down to the proper meal. Don't get cute [/mj reminding me of something my wife said 9 years ago that I don't really remember]
As a palate cleanser, Gregs Kite has provided each guest 1 ounce of Hill Farmstead BoT: Kochere. Because of his poorness, he has requested that we each chip in $20 to cover half the cost of the bottle.
Please take your seats at the table. Don't sit next to Greg; he'll steal all your food because he's a big fat pig who suffers from fatness. We've reached the portion of the meal when a real chef would traditionally serve soup. But Prez wasn't here when we handed out the assignments, and besides soup is "too political" for him. So he picked up J Tims DIRT WINGS instead. Enjoy!
On the plate in front of you, you'll find one of two Philadelphia-themed appetizers. Half of you will be enjoying 3 chicken fingers with no condiments; you are, after all, socializing with other people. For those of you who can eat without a bib, BostonSucksMyBalls has spent the last 2 and a half minutes lovingly microwaving a bowl of off-brand frozen meatballs.
What comes after the appetizer? Salad? I was gonna leave this course up to 31, but that seems dangerous. Let's skip the salad and just dig into a hot fresh New Haven style pizza. I refuse to call it that other word, and we're not having the dumb one with the clams either.
Finally, we've reached the main course. This course was mj's responsibility, and it appears we have a 12-ounce Wagyu NY Strip. This is served with a side of NY Strip, and paired with a glass of Louis Latour Chateau Corton Grancey. And I mean that quite literally; we have A steak and A glass of wine. The rest of you faggots get bunless hot dogs on a paper plate.
Hope you guys saved room for dessert. LDOT, what have you brought for us? My mom's snatch... Goddamnit, I walked right into that, didn't I?
